Hey Knuckle Draggers!

I really can't stand the latest CNN abomination, this one known as "Story Highlights." Reading an entire article to find out what it's about is so last century. In the ultra-hip, fast-paced 00s, we don't have time to read 600 words on the band Scissor Sisters. Instead, the brainless media consumer can scan a box at the top of the page and glean the most pertinent information contained in the article. (In this case, that "Sir" Elton John is a fan.)

CNN is working on a new website that will save the reader the trouble of doing any thinking at all, but another site apparently holds the copyright on that technology.