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Friday, March 10, 2006

Can't Crunch This! Part II

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I would like to introduce you to the culprit...
She was a nice lady and very apologetic for "not seeing me". But that doesn't change the fact that her 2005 Lexus has just been totalled out by a car that's worth 18x less that hers. One could only wonder how she really feels about that. I kind of compare this to me (6'1" tall) getting into a fight with a midget and having my ass handed to me. Of course, I would never actually fight with a midget because, well?...I love midgets like you wouldn't believe!
Anyhow, I have to now go through physical therapy 3 times a week. But if you ask me, it should be called "getting treated like a king" 3 times a week. When I get to this place, they put me on a dry jacuzzi. This is basically a small water bed that you lay on and jets of warm water sprays up and massages your back. Then they move me to a massage bed and give me an ultrasound treatment which is supposed to help influence blood flow through your muscles...*shrug* Whether it actually works or not is beyond me. After 15 minutes of an ultrasound wand probing, they stick some pads on me and give me an electric shock therapy...this, my friends is like heaven! My arms and back are uncontrollably flapping around like fish out of water...yet...it's somehow enjoyable. Last but not least, the masseuse comes in, greases her hands up with warm lotion and begins a 20 minute massage. Now, I know I'm in heaven! After the massage treatment, I was actually sore in my cheeks from this giant shit eating grin that was on my face the whole time. I was thinking to myself that I should have probably gotten into more accidents if this is the kind of treatment you get...